In recent years, the term spiritual abuse has gained popularity. I don’t think this is because spiritual abuse is happening more (although that may be the case), but because more people are talking about their experiences.
As a counselor, I’m encouraged to see more people coming forward to share their stories—stories I consider sacred. Our work is to uncover the roots of a person’s struggles, and as more accounts of spiritual abuse emerge, it becomes even more crucial to understand the roots of this particular harm.
Growing up in church, I was taught that spiritual abuse is solely a result of man’s sin and continued existence in unredeemed flesh. While I accepted this definition, I still wrestled with its rigidity. I would ask God, “Why do humans who say they love you abuse others if they know the destruction of sin?” and automatically, the church’s answer would come to mind: “Because we’re still in the flesh.”
But as I kept searching, God lovingly gave me a more informed answer. I continually asked for God’s help, which we often forget to do (James 1:5-6, 4:2). In seeking God’s guidance, I was led to Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus—a church surrounded by cultural pressures.
The believers in Ephesus faced hostility because their growing faith was turning people away from Greek gods and threatening livelihoods tied to idol worship (see Acts 19). These idols represented false Gods, but the entities behind them were real forces of darkness. Paul describes what the Ephesians were truly wrestling against in Ephesians 6:12:
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Part of being “in the flesh” on earth means being susceptible to the world’s evil influences. Principalities, powers, and rulers of this world’s darkness are real, and so is spiritual wickedness in high places. The choice lies within us as to who we will partner with.
Will we choose God’s ways, or the enemy’s ways?
The Spiritual Forces Behind Abuse in the Church
In The Unseen Realm, Dr. Michael Heiser explains three supernatural rebellions in Genesis 3, 6, and 11 that continue to negatively influence humanity. Studying these gave me a deeper context for Ephesians 6:12 and a clearer understanding of many issues, including spiritual abuse.
When spiritual abuse occurs, it’s because spiritual leaders have partnered (knowingly or unknowingly) with enemies of God and come under their influence. Pride, sexual sin and perversion, manipulation, control, and other horrible influences are examples of spiritual abuse that stem from the influence of dark powers.
Additionally, abuse within the church often begins with the imbalance of power and control among leaders, which reminds me of the story of the Tower of Babel.
In Genesis 11, people tried to build their way to heaven to challenge God’s authority and make a name for themselves. Nimrod (as the leader of the Tower of Babel) ignored God’s disdain for pride, his previous judgments (Genesis 3:5), and possibly the concern of others who warned him against building the Tower. The result was destruction, chaos, and confusion.
Most church/ministry leaders today have a board or accountability structure, but they rarely welcome their involvement and feedback—or worse, they hand-select people who will support whatever they say or do. A leader who wants to build or lead a ministry without seeking God will not prosper (Jeremiah 10:21).
Spiritual abusers believe subtle, flattering, and destructive lies: “You’re the chosen one. You alone are trustworthy. You don’t need permission.” Then, those lies escalate: “You’re just mentoring her,” or “You’re a father figure, so a hug like that is fine.” Before the church leader knows it, they have passed the point of no return.
Doesn’t this sound like a lot of church scandals today? Can leaders and spiritual abusers be influenced by the powers of darkness, causing horrific effects on those God loves? Absolutely.
So: how do we combat the forces of darkness behind the atrocity of spiritual abuse?
How Christians Can Identify and Confront Spiritual Abuse
As congregants, we need to pray for discernment, put on the full armor of God (truth, righteousness, salvation, peace, faith, and the word of God) daily, and expose darkness (such as a lack of accountability and fruit among leaders) within our churches.
Pastors are called to be shepherds, not authoritarians—looking to Christ alone as the head of the church and seeking accountability within the congregation. Teachers must also lead with reverent fear, mindful that they will face stricter judgment (James 3:1).
Like all believers, spiritual leaders are vulnerable to deception, especially when accountability is absent and honest questions are unwelcome. Scripture commands us to test the spirits (1 John 4:1-3) and discern when an influence is not from God. It’s essential for all of us, especially those in leadership, to put on the armor of God daily (Ephesians 6:10-18) and examine the kind of fruit we’re bearing (Galatians 5:22-23). We should ask ourselves if our lives are marked by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We must be open to others gently questioning whether we are walking in these truths.
Finally, counselors should provide a safe space to those who are hurting and lovingly speak truth to those recovering from spiritual abuse. This requires counselors to know God’s word and how to apply it rightly. Good theology matters, and when theology is applied in truth and love, it can heal.
Counselors can also combat darkness by exposing it. Ephesians 5:12 says, “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness but instead expose them.” Uncovering the forces of darkness that use leaders to abuse sheep spiritually is not easy, but it is necessary.
Lastly, we must pray for church leaders. Pray for their eyes to be opened to sinful influences they’re obeying rather than God. Pray that leaders would shepherd their flocks lovingly and keep them from harm. God hears and responds to our prayers, and prayer helps us in every aspect as we battle against darkness.
Ephesians 6:18 (NLT) Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
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Blog Reposted from The American Asssociation of Christian Counselors
Insightful and personal with an intense desire to find biblical answers to mental health concerns, Dr. Natalie Atwell brings over 20 years of experience in the field of mental health. From her role as a practice owner and clinical director to her educational endeavors in college teaching, Dr. Atwell has been able to encourage individuals, groups, and organizations by sharing hope and healing from God’s word.
Currently, she leads a private counseling practice in the Charlotte, NC, metro area and enjoys teaching as an adjunct faculty member at Liberty University in the clinical mental health and school counseling programs. She is committed to serving her community, serving on her local county Human Trafficking Task Force, and collaborating with several non-profits.
